The B-Side

The Back Road

I had to look up the word “fortitude” the other day.

Not because I didn’t know what it meant, but because I needed to be sure. I wanted the definition to match what I was feeling – or maybe what I wasn’t feeling anymore.

Fortitude is the courage and determination to keep going.

Inner strength when things get hard. The ability to keep going when everything in you wants to stop.

Yeah. That’s what I was looking for.

But then my brain did that thing it does – it wandered off-script. I started thinking about the word itself. Forti-tude. And suddenly I was curious: what does “tude” even mean?

Turns out, it’s a suffix that means state of being.

And just like that, I fell down a rabbit hole.

The Tude Pattern

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it:

• Gratitude = state of being thankful
• Attitude = state of being (in how you see things)
• Altitude = state of being (in relation to elevation)
• Fortitude = state of being (in relation to strength)

These aren’t just random words. They’re connected. They build on each other. They remix into something bigger.

And suddenly, I realized I’d been living this pattern my whole life without ever naming it.

Say Something Good or Say Nothing at All

Growing up, my mom had one rule that shaped everything: “If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. It was the law.

At first, it felt like discipline – biting my tongue, finding the positive even when I didn’t feel it. But over time, it became second nature. I started seeing people differently. Looking for the good first. Choosing my words carefully.

It taught me to control my attitude – not as a feeling, but as a practice.

And here’s the thing: most of the time, it worked. I could find something positive. But every once in a while, I’d meet someone or face something where finding the good felt impossible.

That’s when I learned the second part of the lesson: be quiet.

If you can’t say something good, the answer isn’t to complain or criticize. The answer is to get quiet and listen.

Clouds Are Circumstances

More than 25 years ago, I was leaving the corporate world to start an internet company. Steady paycheck? Gone. Security? Gone. The plan? Barely there.

I was anxious. Overthinking. Letting the circumstances cloud everything.

That’s when a friend told me something I’ve never forgotten:

“Clouds are circumstances. When you rise above them, you get closer to your source of power – the sun. You can see clearly up there.”

He wasn’t talking about ignoring problems or pretending things were fine. He was talking about altitude – rising above the noise so you can think clearly, make good decisions, and stay level-headed.

The circumstances don’t disappear. They’re still there, below you. But when you rise above them, you’re not drowning in them anymore. You can see the whole picture. You can hear the answer that was already there.

And the way you rise? You get quiet. You focus on what you have, not what you lack. You live in gratitude.

It’s no coincidence that I ended up living at 3,500 feet. Literally and metaphorically, I needed the altitude.

The Cycle

Here’s how these states of being work together:

Gratitude creates your Attitude. When you focus on what you have, you see life differently. You train your brain to find the good first.

Attitude determines your Altitude. The way you see things – your perspective, your mindset – dictates how high you rise. Whether you stay in the clouds or climb above them.

Altitude requires Fortitude. Rising above isn’t easy. It takes strength to leave the ground. To let go of security. To keep climbing when you’re tired.

Fortitude reinforces Gratitude. The strength you build reminds you what you’re capable of. It gives you something to be grateful for – your own resilience.

It’s a cycle. And when it works, it’s powerful.

When the Cycle Breaks

But here’s what I’m learning: sometimes the cycle runs backward.

Sometimes you wake up and wonder if you still have the fortitude you once had. If you can still rise above. If the strength is still there.

That’s when you have to go counterclockwise.

You lean back into attitude – the discipline my mom taught me. Say something good or say nothing at all. Choose the positive even when you don’t feel it.

You practice gratitude – not because it’s easy, but because it’s the way back. You focus on what you already have. Friends. Family. Something to look forward to. The fact that you’re still here.

And slowly, that gratitude rebuilds your fortitude. The strength returns. Not all at once. But enough to keep going. Enough to maintain your altitude.

The Remix

These aren’t steps. They’re not linear.

They’re states of being that remix into each other depending on what you need.

Sometimes you need gratitude to fuel your attitude.
Sometimes you need attitude to rebuild your fortitude.
Sometimes you need altitude to see clearly.
Sometimes you need fortitude just to stay where you are.

The pattern works both ways. Clockwise when you’re building. Counterclockwise when you’re rebuilding.

And that’s the point.

Fortitude isn’t something you have or don’t have. It’s a state you create. A remix of gratitude, attitude, and altitude that keeps you rising – or helps you hold steady when rising feels impossible.

What About You?

Where are you in the cycle right now?

Are you building altitude – rising above circumstances to see clearly?
Are you leaning into gratitude to fuel your attitude?
Are you going counterclockwise – using discipline to rebuild strength?

Whatever state you’re in, remember: these aren’t separate things. They’re connected. They feed each other. They remix.

And sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is get quiet and listen for the answer that’s already there.

Which way are you headed? Share your journey on @remixology